Have you worked at four failed startups in a row?

Probably not.

The beginning is always the hardest because learning lessons come quick.

It’s not a slap on the wrist.

It’s not bad grades.

It’s you’ve lost all your money, upset investors, and feel like you’ve wasted years of your life on something destined to fail.

Parents, teachers, and mentors can’t prepare you to understand how to handle this type of failure.

It’ll tear you up inside.

Often this leads to your first and most painful learning lesson: You know nothing about startups and entrepreneurship.

Almost every entrepreneur experiences this moment.

“Maybe I have no idea about what I’m doing?”

“I’m no smarter than my company’s intern.”

“I’ve worked tirelessly at this, and I’ve got nothing to show.”

That’s what happened to me.

After working for four failed startups, I experienced entrepreneurial burnout.

I quit.

Several years of hard work and nothing to show for it.

I had no money and had lost many of my relationships working crazy startup hours.

I had a meltdown in front of my Mom.

“Mom, am I experiencing a mental breakdown?”

If you have to ask your Mom, then it’s definitely happening.

No one can explain the deep pain of starting out as an entrepreneur. This part is over-hyped and over-glorified. The self-proclaimed “gurus,” “experts,” and “thought leaders” who’ve never had any success will tell you it’s all about hustle and hard work.

Yeah, that’s a part of it. Maybe 1/20 of what you need to succeed as an entrepreneur; otherwise, we’d have many more success stories.

Filling the last 19/20 skills would take me several more years.

After I had my small meltdown in front of my Mom, I took a low-paying job as a copywriter. I used this downtime to understand myself and re-start my career.

I let go of many old friends and connections.

I also read over one hundred books about business and psychology, ate healthier food, and routinely exercised. Eventually, I saved enough money and sanity to make another career jump.

At the time, I had two job offers: A young startup, 22Social; and a corporate marketing agency.

I remember thinking to myself:

“In ten years, do you want to look back and realize you devoted your life to some big corporate company? Or, do you want to be known for building something great? Why not me?”

I took the leap.

22Social put me on contract because I had a scarred background with startups.

I’d prove my worth in a short time because I had recharged my battery. I just needed a spark.

For the next year, I put every ounce of my energy into growing 22Social.

I worked every weekend. Skipped every holiday.

As the company grew, so did my role. I built a sales funnel for them, developed their blog, put them in touch with industry influencers, made video tutorials, and created a community around their brand.

It worked.

I leveraged my success to write a book about Facebook, and into a new career in Silicon Valley.

Since then, I’ve worked with many high-growth startups, agencies, and a venture capital firm. I even founded one of the largest startup communities in Silicon Valley.

The wins make it all worth it.

However, the beginning is over-hyped. In part, it’s because the media doesn’t like sharing failures. Startup success sells.

They don’t see you struggling to motivate yourself so that you can motivate your employees.

They don’t see the relationship breakups that happen because you work too much.

They don’t see you missing family obligations to finish projects.

If you want to become an entrepreneur, then realize it takes a lot more than you expect. I’m reminded of this every day as I try to grow companies.

Entrepreneurship is a long-term game. You either want to create something great with your entire being, or you fail. I believe we’re all capable of becoming entrepreneurs; we just need to figure out what motivates us.

And most importantly, you need to realize it will be the hardest path you’ve ever taken. Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Especially a path filled with purpose and possibly legacy.

This article was first published on Quora